It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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