Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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